Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
