Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
