Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
