if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
