don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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