So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
