I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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