I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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