No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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