Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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