did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
