smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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