just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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