But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
