Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
