Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
