I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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