Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
