It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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