the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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