is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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