I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
