New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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