I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
