He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
