Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
