its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize