its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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