she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize