We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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