Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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