I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
