We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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