So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
