he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
