i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
