I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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