oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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