the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
