Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
