she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
40s are totally the cure
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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