just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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