If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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