I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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