She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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