Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
