i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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