I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
