i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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