i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
