i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
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