So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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