Me too!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
