So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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