you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
