moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's on the porch naked. Help.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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