is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
