piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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