I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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